The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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