he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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