So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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