I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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