I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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