did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
