Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
