You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
