But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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