HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
