Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
