Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
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