Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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