As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
