just tell him i said nine months
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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