Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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