apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
