I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
