So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
