He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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