i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
she smelled like a LAN party
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
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