I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
