Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
