He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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