he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
