I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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