They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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