um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
