Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
