he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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