I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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