Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You brought string cheese to the strip club
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
