don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Quick, to the slutcave!
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
