real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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