you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
