I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
