guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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