It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
