frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
