Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
