Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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