i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
