i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Can I color on your dick again?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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