I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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