all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
