I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
