At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I understand Curling. That high.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
