well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
