32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
