So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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