i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Farmville is her only friend.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
