Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Randomize
